Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Because I Can
 
For Your Entertainment
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Oh no. It's Vet time again.
Posted:Mar 9, 2010 3:27 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2010 8:50 pm
10807 Views



A couple of months ago, it was time for the yearly check up, cat flu jab etc.

I have to bring the cage in a few days before having to use it. I leave it on the lounge. My cat gets used to seeing it there, so ends up feeling safe that she is not inside of it.

When it is nearly time for the appointment, I go in search of her, pick her up and as we approach the room where the cage is, I have to put my hand over her eyes. Then it's a very fast into the cage with one hand, and slamming the lid down in one movement without trapping her tail.

Then the Howling, growling (yes my cat does growl)and nooooooos begin, and I haven't even picked the cage up.

Onto the passenger seat, and belted up with a towel partly thrown over. We are ready to leave.

Thank goodness it is only a 5min. drive.

The windows stay up, or people walking along the street would think I had an uncontrollable screaming baby in my car.

We arrive and the screams turn into a pitiful meow.

Our turn. Ah a new Vet, hope she is good.

Open the lid and lift cat out. Now she wants to stay in there. Can't make her mind up.

Onto the stainless steel table, and it's like handling wet soap trying to keep her on the table.

Vet unable to open cats mouth to check teeth, listens to her heart instead. Yep a heart beat. I already know that. If there wasn't one, I would not be standing there would I?

You can give her any amount of jabs no problem, but try and get a pill down her throat, and you take your life into your own hands.

She has to be wrapped as tight as a Mummy in a towel, with at least three people holding her down, while the Vet prises the jaws of steel apart, to shoot the pill on some plastic thingy down her throat, clamp the jaws shut and hold them till the pill has been swallowed.

I had been hoping since we had been there last, a jab had been invented (instead of the pill) to give to cats that eat lizards, to stop them catching something terrible and dying.

I asked the Vet. She said she hadn't heard of one, and did I know the name of it?
Hello, who is the Vet here?

She decides to get on the computer. Meanwhile, there I am left trying to hang on to my cat who is trying to drag me across the table, or at least trying to shake me off, so she can go find something to hide behind.

Think Vet must be playing Solitaire or chatting to her friends on MSN. I am getting a bit of a sweat up trying to hold onto cat.

Finally she comes back to the table, and says she can't find anything. Oh God, it means a PILL.

I ask her again, just incase she had forgotten the question. 'So you have to give my cat a pill to stop her dying should she eat a lizard?'

There was a pregnant pause, then the light came on...........
'Oh for that. Thought you asked me if there was something I could give her, to stop her wanting to eat lizards.'



Are you really a VET?

Is there a magic pill you give to cats, that when they see a lizard, they shrug their shoulders and keep walking?

She then went and got some stuff you put on their fur that protects them.
But who is going to protect us from stupid VETS?

18 Comments
Up and Down Sex
Posted:Mar 6, 2010 3:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2010 12:26 am
11075 Views

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, 'Do you want to go up or down?'

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat !

When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He again asked the lady , 'Up or down ?'

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down ?'

The woman replied, 'Down.'

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady,'Up or down ?'

She replied, 'Up.'

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'

She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown...

23 Comments
Neighbours
Posted:Feb 28, 2010 1:19 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2010 12:29 am
35671 Views




My neighbour happens to be across the road.
They are a Father and that think they can play the drums, but they are both hopeless, and a pain in the arse.
19 Comments
As I Mature
Posted:Feb 28, 2010 1:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2010 12:27 am
10005 Views
10 Comments
Hillbilly Mirror
Posted:Feb 25, 2010 2:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2010 12:28 am
10177 Views

After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.

Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him.'How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy.'

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy,

but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father,

so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.

One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed,'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'

13 Comments
Just In Case
Posted:Feb 20, 2010 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2010 1:12 pm
10511 Views

Are you the type of person that throws things away, or are you a hoarder? You keep things 'Just In Case' you might need them one day.

I confess. I am a bit of a hoarder. You never know when you might need...........

Here are some of the things I keep 'Just In Case.'

Flints. Sure at some time I had the old style lighter that needed them.

Keys. Have some that I have no idea where they came from. But who knows, one day they Will unlock some of my window locks that have been locked for the four years I have been living here. One day they might just work.

Odd Screws, Nuts and Bolts.
Something might fall apart, and with the trusty hacksaw, could adjust the screw etc to fit.

Plastic Thingies. Not sure where they came from, or what they could be used for, but better not throw them awat 'Just In Case.'

Casters. Only have three, but hey, once the item of furniture is in place, you could always stuff one of the boxes collected under where the 4th caster should be. Just remember when you want to move it again, that there is one missing. Also sit very carefully if they are on a chair, you don't want to fall off.

Things from inside Christmas Crackers. Probably not too useful, but some of them are cute, just like the toys from the Happy Meals at McDonalds, just can't throw them away.

Egg Separator. Come on. How often do I make cakes? If I need to separate the yolk from the white, I use the shell, as I have forgotten about the fancy separator in the draw.

Stamps. Love stamps. I carefully tear them off envelopes and put them in the draw, where all my other 'Just In Cases' move all over them, and bend or cut them. But have to keep them 'Just In Case' I ever have time to sort through those in the draw and the 100's of others I have in envelopes.


Buttons
. When an item of clothing is no longer fit to be worn, I cut off the buttons and put them into a container. Have you ever noticed, that when you loose a button, none of the ones you have in the container ever match?

I could go on and on, but won't. Now it's your turn.
What are some of the things you keep 'Just In Case?

20 Comments
A Dark Confession
Posted:Feb 17, 2010 12:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2021 11:36 pm
9923 Views

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old was hiding in the closet.

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The says "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again.

15 Comments
$100 Penis
Posted:Feb 11, 2010 11:39 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2012 2:27 pm
10311 Views

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, 'Where in the hell have you been'?

Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo'.

'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

I got 2 x $50 notes on my penis,' he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking?' she said, shaking her head in disdain.

'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollars tattooed on his privates?'


'Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want'.

13 Comments
The 'Voice.'
Posted:Feb 10, 2010 9:56 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2010 12:03 pm
10293 Views

I have read on the site, that sometimes the 3 numbers at the bottom you have to type in, has been replaced with a voice telling you which numbers to type in.

Why?

Well it was my turn a couple of nights ago.

I had written a reply to a post, scrolled down for my magic numbers, and there it was. The voice button.

I turned the radio down so I would hear them, I do love music in the background.

Got a piece of paper and pen, not trusting my tired brain to remember the three numbers.

Was all ready, so hit the button.

The voice quoted two numbers.........and then stopped. There I was with pen poised waiting for the last number. I waited and waited, but no last number.

I tried again. This time, I only got 1 number. Again I waited, and waited. Still nothing.

Ok. I don't give up easily, so went for the 3rd strike.

Again only one number.

By this time I had had enough, so went to see if I could do it the old way...... but my reply had now disappeared, floating off into cyber space.

I was pretty pissed off at this stage, as I had to re type it in all over again.

You know when you loose something, re writing is never the same. You forget bits, and of cause you have already read it, so doesn't have the same impact.

But........ this time, there were my three numbers at the bottom of the page for me to type in.

So who ever I sent the post reply to, you don't realize what I had to go through to send it to you.

Hope you enjoyed it.

15 Comments
Just For YOU
Posted:Feb 8, 2010 10:23 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2010 9:06 pm
10396 Views

Ok. You have been given Three wishes that are for You only.

Not that your will do well. Fall in love with the right person, make lots of money etc.

Not that your Great Aunt will get over her operation.

Or any of the other wishes you have for another.

No. This is for You.

Mine would be:

1. Health
2. Happiness
3. A good man to spend the rest of my days with.

What would be your three wishes?

19 Comments
Now is the time to vote.
Posted:Feb 2, 2010 9:06 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2010 7:56 pm
10748 Views

Thank you my friends for helping to pick a name for my blog.

Sorry I am unable to join them all together, so I could use all of them.

They were all very good.
I have added a few to the list.

So get your cursor ready and vote.

I do have a couple of favorites, but will wait for the count to come in.

They are in no special order.

Thoughts from Down Under
Because I Can
Jokes, Pokes, and Positive Psycholgy
A Taste of Me
Impossible Mission
A Rose by any other Name
Come Dance with Me
Sharing Bits
21 Comments , 19 votes
The Meaning of Songs.
Posted:Jan 29, 2010 1:08 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2010 1:54 pm
10799 Views

Sitting here trying to think of a new blog with the radio on.
Started listening to the words and titles of the songs playing, and came up with an idea.
What songs describe you?

Here are a few to get you started.

Ain't no mountain high enough....have climbed a few mountains in my life




Still haven't found what I'm looking for
...one of the reasons I am on here.

Nutbush City Limits....Am a bit of a 'Nutter' on the dance floor.

Let it Be....Forget about the nasty people out there.

Your Song....Would love someone to write a song just for me.

Girls just wanna have FUN....maybe that song was written for me.

I'm a believer....Good things will happen.

Summer of 69.....No comment.

Ok. Now your turn. Can't do all the hard work.

21 Comments
Some People Just Arn't Nice.
Posted:Jan 26, 2010 2:40 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2010 12:46 pm
12100 Views

I received an email from someone who lives a great distance from me wanting to meet up next time they were passing through.
Sorry, but I am nobodies 'Pit Stop.'

I did read their profile to see what they were looking for, and it was a FB.
His race was black. Reason I mentioned that will become clear further down.

I sent a reply "Thank you but no thank you," as he was looking for a FB and I was looking for a LTR, and wished him all the best in finding what he was looking for.

Return email arrives. In his words... I know I am fu*%ing black, and you are a fu*%#king bitch.

After I got over the shock, as I have never received an email like that before, I realized what he though FB stood for.

I returned his email to him explaining what FB and LTR stood for on this site, and that it had nothing to do with colour at all.

Still waiting for the apology email.
Think I will be waiting a long time.
30 Comments

To link to this blog (marysia4u) use [blog marysia4u] in your messages.

  marysia4u 68F
68 F
October 2021
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
1
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 
           

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date

Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Another loss (4)hotdreamer1000
Oct 12, 2021 1:02 pm
Not wanted. (6)hotdreamer1000
Jun 21, 2021 8:28 am
How to upset a long term member. (30)SirTeezalot
May 10, 2021 4:53 pm
So sad. (15)dafocker44
Dec 25, 2020 2:38 pm
Men in uniforms. (12)sexysixties2
Dec 22, 2020 9:24 am
My 1st...... (24)ManticoreEye
Nov 22, 2020 11:50 pm
A bit of fun.... (26)ManticoreEye
Nov 22, 2020 11:48 pm
Thanks but no thanks. (26)likelusciousone
Oct 19, 2020 6:45 am
Been a while. (19)sydcouple4fun
Sep 13, 2020 3:07 am
Neighbours (27)Apollorising58
Dec 4, 2019 4:10 pm
Still alive. (14)sexysixties2
Nov 15, 2019 7:00 am