Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
The Venting Blog
 
I wonder...
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Dances With Eagles
Posted:Apr 8, 2010 8:43 am
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2015 5:54 pm
27161 Views






Hello fellow bloggers! How are y'all doing today? ...Well, even if you are having a less than good day you're still taking a little vacation here in BlogLand. Perhaps for a bit of diversion?

Anyway, a very nice blogger has decided to host keithcancook on her blog for a day. She is [blog alwys_wet], (and I hope she stays in that condition!) What wonderful imagery in that screen name!

So diddy bop on over to [blog alwys_wet] where my poem has been presented for y'all to enjoy. Many thanks to alwys, and to all my fellow BlogLanders.

As alwys,

blog on!

[post 2282673]

4 Comments
BEWARE OF NATURE
Posted:Apr 7, 2010 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2013 9:21 pm
30116 Views
I was sitting on the back deck yesterday when a passer-by became entangled in a rose bush that was climbing innocently on a fence.. He cursed, and as he did so he saw me looking at him whereby he called out "Can't you keep this @#$$*&! bush trimmed?"

I called back an apology since I had just moved my BEWARE OF NATURE sign to the front yard, where the goes poop. Asshat...

blog on!
20 Comments
When I Was Young
Posted:Apr 7, 2010 8:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2020 3:24 pm
27396 Views
When I was young the cops were the good guys. These days you get points for taking them out in video games.

When I was young I trusted the Priests. Now I feel fortunate to have escaped them.

When I was young I believed my country was so morally right, she could do no wrong. Now I understand the concept, (and consequences), of being subjective.

When I was young homosexuality was hidden in closets. Nowadays homosexuals have political power.

When I was young I thought black folks hated me because I was white. Now I know that they were mostly striving for what's right.

When I was young, I thought the space program was the most exciting thing going. Nowadays I wonder if we can even keep it going.

When I was young I thought that divorce was so terrible it was hidden in closets (like homosexuality). These days I wonder why folks swear vows in the first place. Mating for life seems to be a 50-50 probability now matter what you say at the outset.

Oh well, I'm not young anymore...

blog on!



10 Comments
CELEBRITIES ONLINE
Posted:Apr 5, 2010 1:57 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2015 5:25 pm
27532 Views
Hello ! Were you aware that celebrities have been visiting us here at Sex Friends Finder.net? Yep. Celebrities.

Here are a few former idols who have grown up, and have been spotted lurking in BlogLand. (If y'all see any others, please let us know in the comment area of this post...).





Britney Spears

baldgrl4u
Ima_Goodmom
BTrayd_By_BF



Paris Hilton

IcantgetEnufAttention
dogNmyPurse
BTrayd_By_bF
Social_Lite



Justin Timberlake

titstripper
InSink
BTrayd_By_GF



Lindsay Lohan

3HAB
pparazzimagnet
ObamaDonWaMe
MyParents4Yours
BTrayd_By_gF



Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman)

MeatMeInnaTheatre
ImaWankin
BTrayd_My_Self





Want More? Follow the links below:

Give Georgie A Screen Name
When Bad Guys Go Online

3 Comments
Check One Off The Bucket List
Posted:Mar 31, 2010 9:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2010 9:36 am
28507 Views
I grew a beard.

blog on!

19 Comments
The Blogland Advertising Page II
Posted:Mar 24, 2010 1:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2010 6:06 pm
29175 Views
Masking Profile Projector

Have you had it up to here with your profile being pimped out to other "adult" sites throughout the World Wide Web? Do you object to finding your profile on pages associated with hookers or worse?

If you answered "yes", then this product is for you! The Profile Masking Projector will locate every site outside of BlogLand where you are being pimped. Then it will mask your profile by projecting over it the profile of a Various Inc. executive.

Choose your superimposed profile from a list of Company big-wigs, and let them showcase their product with their own damn profiles. Complete with contact information and marital status.

Call 1-800-REVENGE

For other interesting (and necessary) products see:

The BlogLand Advertising Page

9 Comments
Classic Comments #14
Posted:Mar 22, 2010 9:32 am
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2017 3:30 pm
29812 Views

The Venting Blog Presents: Classic Comments

Yes folks, that's right. I've been reduced to posting comments that I've made in your blogs. Todays choice comes from [blog sexyfitwoman] , by sexyfitwoman.

Ih her post [post 53627], sexyfitwoman ponders the effects of diet on the taste of pussy juice.



sexyfitwoman I'm very interested in this scientific, double blind cum tasting study, but what was I thinking? What about pussy tasting?

I think there are many variables that need to be tested, and sweets are only one of them.

But to be sure it isn't a specific type of sweet, like say chocolate, I think a variety of sweets should be tested.

And then there is fruit. There should be a mixed fruit test, and then each fruit should be testing alone, so maybe start with cherries for two days. Make sure the test is well done, eating cherries for two days is a lot of prep and it would be a shame to have to start over. Then say, strawberries for two day, then grapes, then banana, then apples, etc.

I'm sure research testing how different fruits make pussy taste could go on into September. Then, we can move onto the vegetables.


ENTER KEITHCANCOOK

Hopefully the taste testers will be allowed to eat straight from the box.




For more Classic Comments see:

Classic Comments 1 (This one's a real hoot folks. Check it out)
Classic Comments 2 (love poetry between kcc and mzhuny)
Classic Comments 3 (a song for the BlogLand Retirement Home)
Classic Comments 4 (bad puns)
Classic Comments 5 (even worse puns)
Classic Comments 6 (slapstick comedy)
Classic Comments 7 (insulting an ol pal)
Classic Comments 8 (another nauseating pun)
Classic Comments 9 (reworking of an old Christmas story)
Classic Comments 10 (giving mzhuny what she wants)
Classic Comments 11 (papy's shrinking boobs. Plus you will find a bonus classic comment by my friend, and fellow punster [blog 1hotwahine] )
Classic Comments 12 (a bent rendition of Edelweiss)
Classic Comments 13 (soothing the irascible, hotheaded readytolay)
4 Comments
Chattin' with horny
Posted:Mar 19, 2010 9:19 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2013 11:14 pm
28244 Views

I keep seeing this dude "horny" everywhere I go in BlogLand. He says he "would love to chat with you sometime". And that's all he says. It's his mantra.

So, has anybody actually chatted with horny? Just curious.

blog on!
19 Comments
Oh Come All Ye Bloggers
Posted:Dec 24, 2009 8:04 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2015 11:20 am
29720 Views

When I was a youngster we would go caroling in the neighborhood. The grown ups, along with we would go door to door singing as best we could. There were usually around 20 of us, a fairly large group, or so it seemed to me in those pre-pubescent years.

I remember with fondness how the Christmas spirit would come upon me then. It was always cold in upstate New York in December, and after singing we would gather for hot chocolate upon completing our rounds. Ah! The fellowship and fun we had in those carefree Christmases of my childhood!

I had a good grasp of the lyrics to most of those carols. Honed by singing along with Mitch (Miller & his orchestra, that is), the King Family, and old vinyl records. However, when caroling we usually sang at least two verses, and I remember having trouble remembering those other verses. Fortunately, the grown ups prepared lyric sheets, and we would huddle together trying to read and sing.

It's difficult to recall which my favorite carols were back then. I did like Little Drummer Boy (which I mostly detest nowadays). I've always been partial to Hark The Herald, Joy To The World, and Deck The Halls. I suppose everyone loves to sing Jingle Bells, right?

Anyway, these days I seem to favor Silver Bells, and Walking In A Winter Wonderland the most. I don't mind the celebrity sung carols if they stick to the program. However, when they go off on a tangent (trying to make the carol their own by adding soaring (and unnecessary) vocal arrangements I get kinda disgusted with em, and have to change the radio dial. Am I being too Scroogie?

So, Come All Ye Bloggers! Tell me. Do you have any favorite carols?

Merry Christmas, and

blog on!
10 Comments
Blogging And Dodging My Way Up Florida
Posted:Dec 22, 2009 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2010 8:43 am
29505 Views

Ugh! I do hate driving. Especially in Florida. Which is why I am writing this as I cruise along I-95 at 70mph heading north into Jacksonville. Why drive when I have a who can do it (almost) as good as me!

Florida sorta sucks as a state to drive through since most of it looks the same. It's flat. All level-like. It doesn't deviate. You look out the window at any point, wait a hundred miles or so, then look again. There's no difference. Ya might as well not have moved at all if you use the scenery as an indication of possible relocation.

Then there's the drivers. They are either very slow or else tearing down the highway with flames under their wheels. Gawd help ya if get behind some gomer hauling stuff with trailer in tow. I was behind the wheel (for a short stint), near W. Palm Beach when this largish truck with a giant spool of wire in the back came flying by, and cut in front of me. I eased off to give us some breathing space when suddenly a flash in the sun warned me that debris was leaving the truck and heading my way!

It was a 5 gallon bucket banging and bouncing its way towards me! I had two seconds to react, and avoided the dang thing by a foot or two. I watched in my mirror as vehicles began changing lanes behind me in a mad effort to avoid hitting the thing. Nobody crashed that I could see, but some poor schmuck is calling his insurance company today, I'll wager.

I sped up to pass the oblivious idiot who caused it all by not securing his trailer contents properly, (he's too dangerous to trail), and as I looked over to get a gander at him I found I couldn't see through the tinted windows on his truck. It was then that I thought I should get his plate number just in case, but passed. That would put me in his wake once more.

Well, we're hungry again. Now to find a nice diner so we can grease out, under the towering pines of Georgia... (yay! some variation in the landscape!)

blog on!
15 Comments
The sky, the sea, and then there's me
Posted:Dec 20, 2009 9:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2010 11:07 am
29842 Views
I've come down to the tropics for a few days, but truthfully it doesn't feel too tropical down here in south Florida. In fact, it's kinda chilly, and the sun struggles to shine through the atmosphere. Oh well, I can always blog...

I did go down to the shore at twilight yesterday and witnessed the ending of the day. The sea was as quiet and calm as I had ever remembered seeing it, and it reminded me of the shore of Lake Ontario when I was but a lad. Gently lapping waves that hardly made a sound.

I sat and gazed out at the line of the horizon, and watched as the dark of the sea met the gradually darkening sky until the horizon was no more, and all was an inky black, with no demarcation between heaven and earth.

I love the sea. It comforts me somehow.

blog on!
17 Comments
O Condom Where Art Thou?
Posted:Jun 8, 2009 9:49 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2009 7:41 am
35036 Views
keithcancook has made use of many tools in the course of his life, but not all the tools. Take a basic tool like the condom, for instance.

Honestly, he just doesn't have much experience with 'em. Well, more like didn't actually. He now knows that this tool, and his tool are um, less than friendly. He has experience now. Well enough to post about it anyway. Here are some of his many new discoveries concerning this, this, grrrr, thing -

First of all, needing a condom is a matter of timing. Like, when his timing and her timing merged at the same time, but at that time the condom wasn't ready.

"Just a sec, lemme get a condom."

"OK, hurry"

"@#^&!#@! I put them on the bed table. WTF did they go?"

"I dunno, hurry!"

"@#^&!#@! I can't see anything."

"What are you doing?"

"I think they fell behind the table."

"@#^&!#@!"

Secondly, condoms are funny. Or perhaps just slightly amusing.

(nervous laugh)

"What's the matter?"

"I dunno, it won't go on."

"@#^&!#@! Hurry!"

"I swear, it's stuck or something."

"Are you putting it on backwards?"

"Um, (beginning to giggle), I think so."

(now she's laughing, too) "Well hurry up and flip it over."

So he does, and it goes on - sort of. But they're both laughing and it caused Bruiser to start wagging up and down with each little "ha ha" - which caused them to begin guffawing - which must have embarrassed Bruiser cuz he sort of went away... (an unexpected fail safe to the condom's birth control capabilities). ...The laughing stopped, too.

Thirdly, condoms are nerve suppressors. Bruiser was doing his job, hell - he was working overtime trying to pull a Houdini and bust his way through that damn straight jacket - and into heaven - But heaven never came. Nope, this was not heaven. No. This was heaven denied, spread out like Phineas' feast ere Jason landed. So near, so close, Oh! So close he could smell it, - yet taste it he could not.

Finally, after further experimentation, keithcancook discovered that condoms are messy. Especially if yer not paying attention when you remove them from your body...

blog on!
27 Comments
Night of the Cat Woman
Posted:Jun 3, 2009 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2012 8:18 pm
34582 Views
"They call me The Cat Woman," she whispered. "They're all lovers here."

From my vantage point on the front porch, I eyed her two cats moving into intercept position as the latest in a parade of neighbors leashed to their pets, approached.

"They won't actually attack the dogs, will they?" I asked.

"They're only looking after their territory," The Cat Woman replied...

Later that night, deep in the Lair of The Cat Woman, I was dreamily drowsing in her boudoir when suddenly - FWAP! I was pounced upon full on the chest by some unknown creature.

"WTF!" I cried, leaping out of the bed.

"He thinks you're in his spot," she laughed.

"He stalked me from the headboard above, and then gave me The Chest Plunge," I said in horror. I pictured him doing a Triple Lindy before he landed, and said as much.

We were both laughing now, as she put the cat out of the room, closing the door.

A bit later, I found myself once again dreamily drowsing when suddenly - SCHWING! SCHWING! SCHWINNNGGHH! - an unknown creature was taking some swipes at my foot, (which was hanging off the end of her short-assed bed), and finally just grabbed on with both paws, giving a good pull.

"WTF!" I cried, pulling my long legs back to the safety of the mattress.

"So that's where his brother was hiding," she offered sheepishly.

"I'll try to keep my feet on the bed the rest of the night," I said as I rolled over and curled up.

Once again, back in dreamland, - SCREEEEEK! I was suddenly awakened by searing needle pricks piercing my body. Some unknown creature had sneaked up the side of the bed, attacking my leg on the inside of my thigh. Basically the animal just reached up and latched on. With both paws, claws flashing.

"$#&^!@@$!" I cried, leaping up once more. "I'm gonna go out back to sleep in the woods where it's safe," I thought to myself.

the end.

I wonder. Have any of you folks out there been, um, - bothered - by ah, "territorial type" pets when you are a guest?
22 Comments

To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.

  keithcancook 67M
67 M
June 2021
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
    1
 
2
 
3
 
4
1
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
     

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date