my life is so embarrassing  

cherharazard 41F  
1609 posts
1/12/2019 6:59 pm
my life is so embarrassing

its nearly valentines im ugly in real life ~
that is why I dont experience
romance
& receive special attention like I think I should have

shame the well

looking forward to the not worthy season ~

shame so embaressing being me ~
shame full
I supposed the red faced of embaressment im spared ~ I can just
look like a plum

i think I was pretty lovely once ~ made a mistake
&

yes ~
this things I could do to myself right now ~ the list is long ~

i have all the tools & rope

i want too but
I know the Jedi's would never forgive me

I have to live through that day ~

emotional torture
its shame ful to be me
it is ~

its just
its the opposite of expecting a lustfull surprise ~
its the shame of not being the one eligible for such ambience of Joy ~
its like
yeah that season come along ~
I have to admit it ~

I think im upset as I wish I was not weird ~
I was called weird
& I cant find the tools inside to rectify my ways ~
its like I tried ~ im so fragile like an Echidnea ~ yet resilient like one at the same time { hide away undisturbed in my sanctuary } away from the burning world ~

I desired to be the good submissive woman to One Lord Master ~ not the whole nation ~

& I was not good ~
I tried to make friend ~
the ladies in my life { HAD SOME SERIOUS TINGS HAPPENING & IM LIKE SO UNQUALIFIED - IN CERTAIN DEPARTMENTS OF FUCK DAT SHIT FUCKTARDERY LIKE }
Holy Master where is your arse hole may I put my head back there please ~

i thought that was kissing & the water on my head was Rain
and in my world as a fairy ~
"Its Rain im a submissive lady ~ well the what do I know ~
" take the piss I will think its rain if I trust you ~

but

doesnt take away the fact
some ladies of the earth are the

tossed away ladies
the fuck her
use her sshhhh no we cant be seen talking in public woman
lady your no ones type toosed away type of being ~
it happens
there must be a whole bunch of sorted woman who
are managing themselves well & yet not good enough to be a mans Bitch ~

shame

I stay away from real life ~ purely because
im ashamed of the feeling I have ~
I yearn for his Domestic Silence ~ {poetry}

I would give him my body & want to be that woman

I would desire for him to purge every infraction from my body & pledge apologies~

I think I like it ~

you know when
you either become a Nun or cry to *eath until Cobain{ism} happens ~

but
im patriotic ~ & the Nun craft has to blend in my trend ~ of emotional make up ~

Saint Catherine Nites ~ devoted to their King until we die ~ blessing his fornications with other ladies whilst we suffer until our bodies depart from using its Air ~
Saint Catherine Nitettes ~

im so not good enough~

im defensless now ~
~ I wish for to be Bea*en byhim in the most erotically submissive way ever where I go beyond any thought I could ever imagine

I would want to go there with him & heal silently

that turns me on

~im no good ~
to any man ~

im a sacred maiden alone unOwned ~

I bad vehicle for sex ~ {ugly now} it happens

face the fate ~

id love to be that woman ~ her ~tied to the bed & awaiting the fate

i desire now to learn to take it ~

I desire to breath & not make a sound
obey
cry submissive tears of servitude

& receive his Phallic Blessing

i mean seriously

I get the feeling
if i WAS toothless & grandma aged 37
had a disgruntled time during my 20's & 30's
why do i get the feeling I would have a jackass watless man here like that woman down the road with a husband &; oatmeal looking teeth ~ thats weird
bloody hell~

the irony of fate ~ shame

well there was a time before I reached 41 I wanted an older man ~ but older man now "listen"

"see my name " Cherharazard "

you may need to be Rambo or Rambo or Rambo or LIKE Rambo or a tiny bit
Like Sargeant Blackman {yep } him}

because im not looking for Super Viagra King

im looking for

buss my body Rambo aka {Sergeant Blackman} ~

please tell me you too are not scared a woman with real negroid hair
I know dont believe the hype
my hair is not made of steal ~ its fluffy &
you can pull it it wont come off ~ yank it crank it spank it ~
I wont make a sound im that submissive

I sound vulnerable
I am
& that not illegal

its vulnerable

nerd vulnerable

if your not rambo
watch that film "Chocolate" ~the Asian film}

I dont know ~

all I know is

I sit up at this hour
asking myself

why is there no Great Man of Britain in my bed fucking my Brains out
sexually mu*dering me with illict sex ~ so im humble for the rest of the year ~

like

really

I remember a time when the world was lovely

I think that may have been a daydream
having the right man in my Bed is a good fantasy ~

but

I have never had no man in my life during my adult years of being a Grown ass woman

imagine

men you wont learn until some dude treats your own sister the same way &
even then

truesay
im a real haired lady with no weave

it may be another 5000 years before one man is brave enough to get to know ~
irony

it may have to me a Sergeant Blackman type of Rambo ~

because I have been on Sex Friends Finder.net since 2008 this is my second profile &^ you everyday people are scared of woman like me
with real hair
irony

there hasnt been a Rambo in the City has there ~ you know your not finding no cool nerd bitch like me in the jungle ~ listen ~ central heating ~ make a camp in my bed ~ buss me up there ~ come out the jungle
pls
the woman in Britain need some Great Sex otherwise ~ me personally im getting vex may dash out a Hex ~

I need the men man of the land Lord of Britain pls ~ Great Britain tell me there is a Man who can fuck with me ~

like the irony
whats the point of breathing

really

im Suicida* over sex

no sex
like im really not good enough for the type of men I desire
whats the point of living


cherharazard 41F  
1093 posts
1/12/2019 7:13 pm

how I sit on my bed at night every night ~

shame

milk tray man has retired

&

im like ok


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