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Ripping off that bandaid...  

secret_lade 49F
14128 posts
11/7/2020 5:48 pm
Ripping off that bandaid...

I took this picture quite some time ago to share with someone I'd been casually seeing.

I never ended up sending it to him...

He was the type of guy that brought out all of my insecurities. I heard stories about ex's... I heard stories about beautiful women he wished his family would set him up with... I heard stories about sexual trysts he'd had in the past...

With each new story I felt a little less attractive, a little more like he was using me until someone better came along, and the thought of sharing this photo with him slipped further and further from my mind....

Along with my desire to spend any time with him.

Here's the thing guys... A lot of us women don't want to hear this kind of stuff. We already have all those nagging worries in the back of our minds about whether or not we are attractive or good at sex and those types of conversations only manage to heighten that worry.

Rational Mind - There must be something to me that he finds attractive or he wouldn't be here.

Irrational Mind - Why does he keep talking about this beautiful woman he wishes his would set him up with? I'm sitting right here, on a date with him, and all he can talk about is another woman.... I'm not good enough.

Once a guy plants that seed of doubt in our minds, it's impossible to remove.

I was cleaning some junk out of my phone today and I came across this old picture.

At first I felt silly, and thought... what was I thinking?

Then I thought, you know.... That picture isn't half bad. It's a very flattering view of me, I wish I'd had the courage to share it with someone... Someone who would actually like to see this view of me.

And, my blog came to mind.

I write a lot about my daily happenings. The funny, the bizarre, the sad... But I share very little about my appearance. I've always managed to keep that private.

Sometimes... Sometimes you have to rip off that bandaid, though.

So, here you go readers, a tiny peek into the realm of the Secret_Lade.



secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
4/3/2021 6:08 am

    Quoting 69ereatwetpussy:
    I see a beautiful lady
    Now I have you complete
    From head to toes
    Xoxoxoxoxxo Thomas
    I'm sure you look beautiful
    In the shower .
    PS. I have alit of your blogs to catch up on.
Thank you, that was very kind. I do end up posting a lot on here, don't I. LOL


69ereatwetpussy 61M
6774 posts
4/1/2021 8:48 am

I see a beautiful lady
Now I have you complete
From head to toes
Xoxoxoxoxxo Thomas
I'm sure you look beautiful
In the shower .
PS. I have alit of your blogs to catch up on.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/28/2020 6:16 pm

    Quoting Ultraviolet_Sol:
    Yes. Anyone who is not completely enthralled by you is a bonafide fool.

    I have to tell you that I've become a fan of your writing.

    The author's voice really speaks to me.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy my writing.


Ultraviolet_Sol 43M
622 posts
12/28/2020 9:51 am

Yes. Anyone who is not completely enthralled by you is a bonafide fool.

I have to tell you that I've become a fan of your writing.

The author's voice really speaks to me.

*. *. *


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/30/2020 4:22 pm

    Quoting wifedosentplay:
    Very flattering pic, showing just enough to weg anyone's appetite
thank you... I don't normally post personal pics on here, I like to save that for in person viewing.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/30/2020 4:21 pm

    Quoting stevenjamison207:
    Hello! This is great! I have a bit of experience in this and hoping for me. Will you help? Local availability all the time and will travel for the right reasons. Smile, it could be you. Can't wait hear from you.
He strikes again! LOL


stevenjamison207 55M
56 posts
11/30/2020 11:52 am

Hello! This is great! I have a bit of experience in this and hoping for me. Will you help? Local availability all the time and will travel for the right reasons. Smile, it could be you. Can't wait hear from you.


wifedosentplay 61M
26 posts
11/28/2020 9:12 am

Very flattering pic, showing just enough to weg anyone's appetite


ManInLorton1 37M

11/27/2020 5:35 pm

Hi


joejoejoe509 61M
13 posts
11/22/2020 1:43 pm

luv ur boobs


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/22/2020 12:56 am

    Quoting newbieinco:
    Thank you for sharing the beautiful picture of a beautiful lady.
    After a few dates, IF the women asks, in the interests of honesty, I share how many and how long. Any more than that is pretty stupid (or at least arrogant) of the guy. Probably wanted to build himself up from a weak ego. You deserve better, and it is good that you got out. Now you just need to get him out of your head!
Thank you for the kind compliment... I was told once, a long time ago, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, so I never ask certain things. When it comes to relationships, the past is the past and you have to leave it there, so I never ask.


newbieinco 61M  
18 posts
11/21/2020 6:51 pm

Thank you for sharing the beautiful picture of a beautiful lady.
After a few dates, IF the women asks, in the interests of honesty, I share how many and how long. Any more than that is pretty stupid (or at least arrogant) of the guy. Probably wanted to build himself up from a weak ego. You deserve better, and it is good that you got out. Now you just need to get him out of your head!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/18/2020 3:50 pm

    Quoting stevenjamison207:
    Great topic. I have some experience in this and would enjoy chatting with anyone on it. Thank you for the cool post on it. I am also available for local meetings with short notice and will travel for right circumstances. I look forward to hearing from you and hope to see you soon and have some real fun! Wonderful pic.
Real or not real..... Let's play! My guess, not a real person!! LOL


stevenjamison207 55M
56 posts
11/18/2020 6:30 am

Great topic. I have some experience in this and would enjoy chatting with anyone on it. Thank you for the cool post on it. I am also available for local meetings with short notice and will travel for right circumstances. I look forward to hearing from you and hope to see you soon and have some real fun! Wonderful pic.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/16/2020 4:11 pm

    Quoting anal6ns:
    Thanks for sharing that pic...phew! That idiot guy must have really poor eye-sight
thank you... And, yes, I agree. He's got really poor eye-sight. LOL


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/16/2020 4:10 pm

    Quoting  :

This guy did not understand at any point that I felt uncomfortable when he did this. I did tell him, but he made it seem as though I was somehow being dramatic because, after all, "It's just sex." I finally told him my needs changed and I was looking for something different than he was willing to offer. He still doesn't understand, to this day....


anal6ns 51M
48 posts
11/16/2020 10:22 am

Thanks for sharing that pic...phew! That idiot guy must have really poor eye-sight


fwblook4unow 48M

11/15/2020 3:16 am

Absolutely stunning Secret_Lade. Such a beautiful sexy pic....would have been a huge turn on for me if you sent me that pic😘 Have you done any sexting efore?


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/13/2020 5:05 pm

    Quoting ItsThtPervertGuy:
    Nice pic.But I have to say I like the profile pics better. Nice feet and toes. What can I say.Got a bit of a foot and toe fetish!
well thank you!


ItsThtPervertGuy 44M
484 posts
11/12/2020 7:38 pm

Nice pic.But I have to say I like the profile pics better. Nice feet and toes. What can I say.Got a bit of a foot and toe fetish!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/11/2020 3:02 pm

    Quoting freespirit11501:
    First of all. That is sexy pic and you should be proud of it. Secondly, what he did was horrible, no one should be taken for granted like that. I know when I’m with someone, I give 110% of my attention to that person and expect the same in return. That’s mutual respect. I make sure she feels special because I think she is special. That’s what you deserve also so kudos for ending that relationship. His loss.
I agree, it is his loss. I'm a funny, smart woman who can be a lot of fun, if given a chance. Somewhere out there is a guy who would be happy to be with me.


fwblook4unow 48M

11/11/2020 3:05 am

Absolutely stunning Secret_Lade. Such a beautiful sexy pic....would have been a huge turn on for me if you sent me that pic😘 Have you done any sexting efore?


freespirit11501 53M
1542 posts
11/10/2020 11:17 pm

First of all. That is sexy pic and you should be proud of it. Secondly, what he did was horrible, no one should be taken for granted like that. I know when I’m with someone, I give 110% of my attention to that person and expect the same in return. That’s mutual respect. I make sure she feels special because I think she is special. That’s what you deserve also so kudos for ending that relationship. His loss.

PLEASE COME AND CHECK OUT MY BLOG AND IF YOU ENJOYED IT LEAVE ME A COMMENT. KEEP IT SEXY!!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/10/2020 2:40 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Thanks for sharing. Nice pic. 👍
You're welcome.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/10/2020 2:39 pm

    Quoting moema999:
    a lovely pic..............you deserved better......
Thank you for the kind complement.... I do deserve better, too.


moema999 68M

11/10/2020 2:35 pm

a lovely pic..............you deserved better......


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
11/10/2020 6:16 am

Thanks for sharing. Nice pic. 👍


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 9:49 pm

    Quoting tickles4us:
    Be thankful for the warning signs when you get them before getting in too deep. Much better to know before than after you have become invested. Nice picture.
You're right... It's better to know before you become too invested. Casual or not, there are just some things that shouldn't be done out of respect. Had the shoe been on the other foot, I doubt he would have been comfortable hearing me say the same things.


tickles4us 62M
7262 posts
11/9/2020 3:36 pm

Be thankful for the warning signs when you get them before getting in too deep. Much better to know before than after you have become invested. Nice picture.

Vive La Difference


topherific 61M
5209 posts
11/9/2020 3:24 pm

    Quoting secret_lade:
    I think this is as much as I'm going to share. Lol Have to leave something to the old imagination!
i guess i could hope for a private showing


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 3:09 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    Thanks for sharing that pic...phew! That idiot guy must have really poor eye-sight
I think it's more that, he thinks he can do better.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 3:06 pm

    Quoting Ont_Bulldog9:
    In the early stages of dating, there is no place for talk of other men or women. When you built that trust and respect, then you get into discussions of your past. We all have baggage. Those past relationships have helped form us, but still do not need to be brought up on a date.
    Also, the picture has just the right amount of sexy and class. Beautiful picture of a beautiful lady, inside and out!
I have always avoided talking about past relationships... The conversations never go well, ever. Someone invariably gets mad or someone gets hurt feelings.... In this case, it was my feelings that got hurt and to this day, he can't understand why I stopped seeing him.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 2:57 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you... I needed to hear that! I did end things, several months ago.... I internalized it though, and took it to heart. I knew if I wrote about it here, I'd be able to get some closure. I so appreciate the input I get.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 2:49 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Ah McLade.....ye've no need ever to doubt your looks, your attractiveness or your sex appeal.......but then you wouldn't be the lovely, gorgeous woman you are if you were over-confident.
Better watch it.... compliments like those are going to go straight to my head. LOL But, thank you... You're always so kind to me.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/9/2020 2:43 pm

    Quoting KX450F2016:
    Insecurities also applies to us guys as well
I think insecurities are possible for all of us.... Even the men. It's probably harder for the guys as you kind of carry the burden of initiating everything.


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
11/9/2020 9:52 am

Thanks for sharing that pic...phew! That idiot guy must have really poor eye-sight


Ont_Bulldog9 51M
50 posts
11/9/2020 9:04 am

In the early stages of dating, there is no place for talk of other men or women. When you built that trust and respect, then you get into discussions of your past. We all have baggage. Those past relationships have helped form us, but still do not need to be brought up on a date.
Also, the picture has just the right amount of sexy and class. Beautiful picture of a beautiful lady, inside and out!


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
11/9/2020 4:56 am

Ah McLade.....ye've no need ever to doubt your looks, your attractiveness or your sex appeal.......but then you wouldn't be the lovely, gorgeous woman you are if you were over-confident.


KX450F2016 55M
193 posts
11/9/2020 3:57 am

Insecurities also applies to us guys as well


KX450F2016 55M
193 posts
11/8/2020 6:42 pm

Looks pretty damn good to me!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:42 pm

    Quoting Apollorising60:
    I have had previous relationships before my wife but those relationships never are brought up!
That's how it should be! You're respectful and kind.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:41 pm

    Quoting topherific:
    i agree nice pic but now i want to see more
I think this is as much as I'm going to share. Lol Have to leave something to the old imagination!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:39 pm

    Quoting flannel_light:
    I have to say you are so right. I am one who does not want to hear about other women. That's the past and should stay there. That is a nice sexy picture of you and you are a beautiful woman inside and. I can see that in you when I read your Blogs. Hugs.
Thank you, that was such a very kind complement. Hugs to you as well.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:37 pm

You're welcome.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:36 pm

    Quoting  :

It's kind of like a jigsaw puzzle. Lol. Only the regular readers will know where all the pieces are.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 5:33 pm

Thank you! It's a side of myself I don't normally share.... I really liked this pic.


Apollorising60 63M

11/8/2020 12:45 pm

I have had previous relationships before my wife but those relationships never are brought up!


topherific 61M
5209 posts
11/8/2020 11:44 am

i agree nice pic but now i want to see more


flannel_light 61F
4586 posts
11/8/2020 8:40 am

I have to say you are so right. I am one who does not want to hear about other women. That's the past and should stay there. That is a nice sexy picture of you and you are a beautiful woman inside and. I can see that in you when I read your Blogs. Hugs.

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


big54al 69M
2259 posts
11/8/2020 7:03 am

Thanks for sharing


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 6:14 am

    Quoting Melsong:
    It’s a great picture and it’s too bad the man was so disrespectful. It does actually reflect on him but my mind would think the same as yours. Casual or not, I don’t want to hear about other women.
He did open my eyes to what I really am looking for, something a little more meaningful than what it was he was offering. I deserved to be treated respectfully, like I mattered...


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 6:06 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    Ms Lade, that's an excellent picture! Tastefully sexy 100%
Well, thank you Tickle! Such a kind complement!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 6:05 am

    Quoting  :

Sometimes quality of life is way more important than any amount of money we could earn....

In 2015 I quit a job that I'd been happy in, but wasn't paying me enough to live, for another job that paid way more. I worked that job 6 weeks but it felt like an eternity. I cried every single day during that 6 weeks and for the first time ever, I quit that job without having another job lined up.

My quality of life was worth way more to me than money.

In the end, it all worked out. Having worked with the public for as long as I have, and knowing as many people as I do.... I was able to find a job immediately, still making more than the first job I'd left. I had quality of life and the extra income I needed.... Plus it turned into the stepping stone I needed to get my current job.


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
11/8/2020 5:59 am

This is so classy!!!

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
11/8/2020 5:12 am

Ms Lade, that's an excellent picture! Tastefully sexy 100%


Melsong 48F

11/8/2020 5:01 am

It’s a great picture and it’s too bad the man was so disrespectful. It does actually reflect on him but my mind would think the same as yours. Casual or not, I don’t want to hear about other women.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 4:54 am

    Quoting XHamburgDave:
    Good morning Secret

    This guy was so obviously wrapped up in himself, to talk about ex'es and other women he wanted was unforgivable!! Your assessment of him was correct, if he isn't talking about you, your hopes and desires he isn't worth your time!!

    That is a lovely pic, I would be really pleased to receive a pic like that from a lady.

    My bandaid moment was when I decide to return to the UK from Hamburg. After nearly 17 years living there, it was like starting a new life, scary

Big changes like that are always scary... I've actually been considering making a change for myself, like that. I need some new scenery... New people in my life. New adventures. But, like I said, it's scary, and, I just haven't been able to do it.


XHamburgDave 80M
10466 posts
11/8/2020 3:58 am

Good morning Secret

This guy was so obviously wrapped up in himself, to talk about ex'es and other women he wanted was unforgivable!! Your assessment of him was correct, if he isn't talking about you, your hopes and desires he isn't worth your time!!

That is a lovely pic, I would be really pleased to receive a pic like that from a lady.

My bandaid moment was when I decide to return to the UK from Hamburg. After nearly 17 years living there, it was like starting a new life, scary


Please visit my Blog "Older but no Wiser"


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 12:26 am

    Quoting  :

I'm not a fan of the brutally honest approach. It's just tacky, in my opinion. I'm 100% onboard with all out honesty, I just feel there are less harsh and tasteful ways to be honest. This guys mantra was, it's just sex. It was because of him that I realized, I think I want more than just sex.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 12:13 am

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    once the meeting of the minds happens

    sharing can begin to each partner's comfort zone

    that is a nice pic

    thanks for sharing

    Sofia Karlberg - "A Bible Of Mermaid Pictures"

    Spinnin' 'round in a violet beam
    Upside down there's no gravity
    In a shadow, I'm loosing grip
    Moving 'round in a dream, in a dream
    Feel like IMAX all over me
    In a wave I'm on my way
    I'm breathing in nowhere slowly
    I'm riding a fictional cloud
    A pilot of starship fables
    And I am his passenger now
    I'm diving in endless oceans
    I'm chasing a tide in my mind
    A bible of mermaid pictures
    And I am it's painter by hand
Perhaps an over sharer isn't meant to mingle with an under sharer.... We tend to sit back and listen more to what is being said, reading the person and forming our opinions on the words being spoken.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/8/2020 12:05 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    Ripping off my bandaid was walking out naked for a photo with 3 women who stood behind me and all you could see was their hands on me. I had to just say "fuck it".
    This is a good pic, very profile worthy. More please.
Now... THAT'S a bandaid! Lol I think I still prefer one on one nudity. Lol


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/7/2020 11:58 pm

    Quoting  :

Throughout all my years on here, I have always had a feet profile pic. On my old profile, all you could see was leather boots. Lol I'm glad you liked the pic.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/7/2020 11:52 pm

    Quoting jolielaide:
    you look good, secret!
    unfortunately, some guys talk so much
    they ruin shit before shit even gets started.
    smh. yea, his loss
Well thank you.... And, yes, I have to agree, over sharing isn't always a good thing.


easy_going2014 57M
14366 posts
11/7/2020 8:47 pm

once the meeting of the minds happens

sharing can begin to each partner's comfort zone

that is a nice pic

thanks for sharing

Sofia Karlberg - "A Bible Of Mermaid Pictures"

Spinnin' 'round in a violet beam
Upside down there's no gravity
In a shadow, I'm loosing grip
Moving 'round in a dream, in a dream
Feel like IMAX all over me
In a wave I'm on my way
I'm breathing in nowhere slowly
I'm riding a fictional cloud
A pilot of starship fables
And I am his passenger now
I'm diving in endless oceans
I'm chasing a tide in my mind
A bible of mermaid pictures
And I am it's painter by hand

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


mc_justmc 63M

11/7/2020 8:29 pm

Ripping off my bandaid was walking out naked for a photo with 3 women who stood behind me and all you could see was their hands on me. I had to just say "fuck it".
This is a good pic, very profile worthy. More please.


jolielaide 52F  
1754 posts
11/7/2020 7:18 pm

you look good, secret!
unfortunately, some guys talk so much
they ruin shit before shit even gets started.
smh. yea, his loss


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/7/2020 5:57 pm

When was the last time you ripped off a bandaid?


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