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What the Fuck Moment #347  

secret_lade 49F
14097 posts
1/26/2020 7:44 am
What the Fuck Moment #347


So.... Yah.

I'm that girl who has a single brewer coffee maker for those days when she just doesn't think she can drink a whole pot.

Or shouldn't....

Got a call from Wallyworld this morning. Thanks a nationwide glitch in their system, it turned out I had actually do my grocery<b> shopping </font></b>this morning instead of the planned rolling stop in the parking lot where I sign my name and they throw my food in the back of my car.

Beautiful.

Trying to be the normal, healthy human being I think I can be, I got up, took a shower, and my and I headed out shop.

What does this have do with coffee?

Tired of operating in slow mode from lack of morning coffee, I set up the single brewer make a cup while I put away the groceries.

I could hear the water heating..... Smell the coffee aroma as the hot water hit the grounds.... hear the sound of coffee as it dripped from the maker into.....

I was gathering up the million plastic grocery bags littered across my counter when I noticed the coffee cup sitting squarely in the middle of them.

Shit...

Coffee cup in hand, spinning around behind , my heart beat in my throat as I realized my coffee was brewing into nothing at all and was all over the counter, dangerously close to spilling between the counter and fridge.

"Oh My Fucking God!"

Now, I know you can't imaging it getting any worse than this.....

I was soon to discover this was the least of my worries.

I put the coffee maker in the sink and went to move the microwave to the other counter and discovered the portal to hell beneath it.

Along with the coffee I found the remains of 5 of discarded nastiness. Half eaten crackers... Cheerios.... a Barbie shoe.... red juice stains?? Where in the hell did the pistachio come from?

And thus, this started my day.

secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 2:01 pm

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    that is funny

    I just "hotlisted" you on that one

    just sayin'

    I've had those moments

    a few years back I was going to watch the world series 1989

    hustled all day to get everything done, so that nothing, I mean, nothing would prevent me from watching game 1

    made sure I got everything done at work, because it was on a Tuesday evening

    dinner was ready to go, tv turned on...

    then, the earthquake hit minutes before the game

    it was a terrible earthquake causing massive damage to California and the bay area

    but, like you, I was focused on trying to get everything done

    well, that's what your post made me think of

    and, this

    Nelly - "Here comes the boom"

    It's the N-E-Double L-Y
    I said it so I keep it realz up in my hood, on the dirty like Bledsoe
    Ain't got no twist in my hair, but I'm still dread throwin
    I gots plenty of bread so I go to bed full now
    Ain't in it to win, to win it I'm all in
    I might call you my cuz youngblood, but we ain't kin naw
    Ya think of jumpin man, you best think again
    Lil dirty, I'm the type of man that might could go for revenge
    Have some not so nice friends,kick the door off the hinge
    Take the door of ya Benz, p-p-pop 4 of your friends
    This here ain't cynical (Uh uh)
    Mental, subliminal, I'm physical, financial, and mental to be a general
    Lil mama come, she want a soldier
    Not the type be in the tank, but in that Rover
    I'm in the zone like AIDS full blown
    I'm killin it like a blind man readin, I'm feelin it like (BOOM!)

    Here comes the (BOOM!)
    Here comes the (BOOM!)
    Here comes the
    Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)
    Here comes the (BOOM!)
    Here comes the (BOOM!)
Oooh! I've been hotlisted... Be still, my beating heart. 😍 Did you actually get to watch the game?


easy_going2014 57M
14366 posts
1/26/2020 1:18 pm

that is funny

I just "hotlisted" you on that one

just sayin'

I've had those moments

a few years back I was going to watch the world series 1989

hustled all day to get everything done, so that nothing, I mean, nothing would prevent me from watching game 1

made sure I got everything done at work, because it was on a Tuesday evening

dinner was ready to go, tv turned on...

then, the earthquake hit minutes before the game

it was a terrible earthquake causing massive damage to California and the bay area

but, like you, I was focused on trying to get everything done

well, that's what your post made me think of

and, this

Nelly - "Here comes the boom"

It's the N-E-Double L-Y
I said it so I keep it realz up in my hood, on the dirty like Bledsoe
Ain't got no twist in my hair, but I'm still dread throwin
I gots plenty of bread so I go to bed full now
Ain't in it to win, to win it I'm all in
I might call you my cuz youngblood, but we ain't kin naw
Ya think of jumpin man, you best think again
Lil dirty, I'm the type of man that might could go for revenge
Have some not so nice friends,kick the door off the hinge
Take the door of ya Benz, p-p-pop 4 of your friends
This here ain't cynical (Uh uh)
Mental, subliminal, I'm physical, financial, and mental to be a general
Lil mama come, she want a soldier
Not the type be in the tank, but in that Rover
I'm in the zone like AIDS full blown
I'm killin it like a blind man readin, I'm feelin it like (BOOM!)

Here comes the (BOOM!)
Here comes the (BOOM!)
Here comes the
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)
Here comes the (BOOM!)
Here comes the (BOOM!)

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 9:03 am

    Quoting clittywhisperer1:
    yet another reason I have never had so much as a single cup of black juice from hell . now if I can get my new wife to stop touching and moving and hiding all my stuff I will be back to peaceful balance .
Lol maybe she's just finding new homes for it all. My ex husband hated to have stuff laying out on the counters and stands, so I had to keep everything put away. Toaster, knife block, blender..... Everything went in the cupboard.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:58 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    He is my 39 yr old son. How do you move forward in life when someone is coming behind you and fucking up your established/finished possessions? He has fucked my stove, microwave, refrigerator, guest bedroom, guest and bathroom with his "don't give a shit" philosophy to life. I would gladly boot him out, if not for the grand daughters.
Can you keep the granddaughters and give him the boot?? He sounds terrible. At 39, he should not be living at home still, acting like a teenager.


clittywhisperer1 59M
1415 posts
1/26/2020 8:52 am

yet another reason I have never had so much as a single cup of black juice from hell . now if I can get my new wife to stop touching and moving and hiding all my stuff I will be back to peaceful balance .


mc_justmc 63M

1/26/2020 8:49 am

    Quoting secret_lade:
    OMG! I don't know who El Douche is, but he'd be El Homeless if he did that at my house. What a fucktard.
He is my 39 yr old son. How do you move forward in life when someone is coming behind you and fucking up your established/finished possessions? He has fucked my stove, microwave, refrigerator, guest bedroom, guest and bathroom with his "don't give a shit" philosophy to life. I would gladly boot him out, if not for the grand daughters.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:36 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I've got a 12 cup drip coffee maker but I just bought a Keurig for those days I just want a cup or 2, but not a whole pot. Just $75 and I have a cup in under a minute. I have those little wtf zones thanks to my grandkids and el douche, I don't even look for them. I just found a large burn mark on the side of my fridge where El Douche burned the microwave when he cooked noodles for 8 mins without water and totally fucked my microwave.
OMG! I don't know who El Douche is, but he'd be El Homeless if he did that at my house. What a fucktard.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:32 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    that pistachio was probably still good. if u wipe the dust off, it probably still tastes - not too bad.
Too late now.... Coffee soaked pistachio is now in the trash.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:26 am

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    Wait.....so Barbie has been limping around with only one shoe for the last five years....and you never noticed? OMG!!!
    Sorry to say, I was kinda laughing over this since it sounds a lot like something I would do. Well, except the Barbie shoe... Although it's only been a bit over a year since I had to move the microwave cause I was cleaning out the stick of butter that I let explode in it. That stuff was dripping everywhere
Exploding stick of butter... Lol I didn't know that was possible, thank you for alerting me to this! This totally sounds like something I would do.


mc_justmc 63M

1/26/2020 8:26 am

I've got a 12 cup drip coffee maker but I just bought a Keurig for those days I just want a cup or 2, but not a whole pot. Just $75 and I have a cup in under a minute. I have those little wtf zones thanks to my grandkids and el douche, I don't even look for them. I just found a large burn mark on the side of my fridge where El Douche burned the microwave when he cooked noodles for 8 mins without water and totally fucked my microwave.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
1/26/2020 8:21 am

that pistachio was probably still good. if u wipe the dust off, it probably still tastes - not too bad.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:21 am

    Quoting  :

Are we bragging??? Showboater.... Lol


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 8:19 am

    Quoting 12211male:
    Wait till you look under the fridge
Ugh.... I don't even want to think about what Fifth Circle of Hell is under there!


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
1/26/2020 8:06 am

Wait.....so Barbie has been limping around with only one shoe for the last five years....and you never noticed? OMG!!!
Sorry to say, I was kinda laughing over this since it sounds a lot like something I would do. Well, except the Barbie shoe... Although it's only been a bit over a year since I had to move the microwave cause I was cleaning out the stick of butter that I let explode in it. That stuff was dripping everywhere

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


12211male 60M/54F

1/26/2020 7:56 am

Wait till you look under the fridge


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
1/26/2020 7:49 am

    Quoting  :

Oh, you poor soul!! LOL Hopefully your day is going way better than mine.


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