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redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/2/2018 11:26 am

If I'm not attracted to someone I'm not going to do anything sexual with them.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
11/2/2018 11:30 am

I think it's a personal thing. There are those who don't need to be attracted to another person to enjoy oral, or any sex. And then others who require some sort of physical attraction in order to be stimulated. I'm in the SHALLOW category... to some degree. 😁😊👌


seems6666 53F  
4838 posts
11/2/2018 11:32 am

I've never found a man who can give me oooh yeah pleasure orally.. so I don't bother with it, I do love giving oral but could not do it with someone I didn't find attractive.
Face sitting?!.... errrr no!


FresnoWoman 53F
883 posts
11/2/2018 11:38 am

I don't think you're close-minded to not want to have sex with someone you're not attracted to. Seems like a really normal way to feel. I wouldn't want oral sex from anyone I wasn't attracted to because it would still be someone touching me.

So yes, attraction matters for oral sex. I don't understand why men think it *shouldn't* matter. Maybe because in general they get turned on and get off more easily, they worry less about it.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
11/2/2018 11:43 am

You know hun you had me cracking up @ the Hoover power attachment. I totally understand where your coming from. You know all men think they are good at GIVING ORAL and I just have to say NO THEY ARE NOT!!!

Now I am not say all men are not good at it, a man who takes the time usually at a younger age and learns how to give oral ( usually by an older woman I have to say masters it pretty well. I think watching porn is also a great way to learn oral. I know it helped me a great deal in masterful oral skills. And yes I did say that as I am very good at what I do and never had no complaints only stalkers..

I know you say your not attracted to the gentleman that offered his face to have you enjoy some face sitting ( as it can be so damn good with the right partner). I hope you will think about it and hell try it hun you might like it. But I understand if there is no sexual chemistry there you probably won't enjoy it as to be truly happy sexually there has to be chemistry. I hope you have a great weekend..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 12:05 pm

Trust me, there are a lot of men that will suck or fuck anything or anyone that will allow them to. LOL Bet you knew that though, you're a clever lady.

Myself? Nah. If I'm not attracted to them, it's just not gonna happen. A lot of it with me is the , starts in the head thing. No lala , that was not a pun. If I'm not attracted to them, my mind starts going in the "nope" direction. And while I tend to be horny pretty much all the time, I don't let it override my decisions.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


bitchkitty2017 71F

11/2/2018 12:07 pm

I agree with the gals why have oral with someone you are not attracted to ..shallow maybe but a lot of men boast of being orally talented and most are just looking for it because they get a lot of pleasure out of it for the fact they want anyone who says yes..There is a few who are skilled but don't boast about it because they know they are and don't have to brag about it ..Few and far between and if you are lucky in life to meet one then blast off is imminent ..lol..


HavTongueWilTrav 68M
7 posts
11/2/2018 12:10 pm

I think if a guy takes the time to learn to listen to a ladies body they should get better at giving oral. Do not be so set in your ways to not understand that every girl in different, some like gentle stimulation some like more vigorous and, Ladies do not be afraid to let the guy know what feel good and what does not. As for the attraction, I think there has to be some.


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
11/2/2018 12:12 pm

Jings, crivens and help ma boab lass.........ye dinnae half ask some searching questions........and here I am wondering how I can answer a different one.......

Anyways, I've done that sex thing without attraction, it was short term gain for long term pain. As in, I felt as if I had used someone, I had used someone. So, sex, aye, pleasure, not so much.

On the other hand, if there is mutual respect, if you like the person, and the only thing that's missing is attraction, and if the other person knows what they're about and is indeed getting something from the activity, well, why not.

But nah, for me, attraction to the point where I'd be intimate needs to be an all round thing.

So, does that answer your question?


OldrHarleyGuy 72M

11/2/2018 12:22 pm

Well, as the ole saying goes, everyone's mileage differs, some do like/love it, and some don't, it's all about what your desires and expectations are with it. And yes in most situations it does have to do with attraction, or at least it does for me anyway. I love doing or having oral like that if I'm attracted to the lady and know she also likes it, but I'm not going to do it just for my gratification if I know she doesn't really care for it or is pleasured by it.


Funforall1220 34M
22 posts
11/2/2018 12:28 pm

Have to be attracted


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
11/2/2018 12:35 pm

It's been pretty rare that a guy really sends me to the moon with his oral sex skills. Which is NOT to say that in other cases it hasn't been pleasant. But there's a diff between "this is pleasant" and "OMG OMG OMG OMG" lol.

And as a "woman of size" I'm ambivalent about face sitting. Intellectually I know that for a lot of guys that's the actual thrill - feeling like they're about to be smothered - but sorry, just makes me really self-conscious.

And yes - of course I have to feel attraction to be intimate with someone.


Livin_my_Life14 53F

11/2/2018 12:38 pm

I need to be attracted to them to have anything physical. I find oral sex to be very intimate. I mean- you are going down to an area where I bleed and pee from. You are close to the backdoor where I poop from. I don’t let strangers play in those areas freely. There has to be a connection mentally and physically to stimulate me. 💕


Coupleinacloset 65M/59F

11/2/2018 12:39 pm

My take, Lala, is that you should only have sexual contact with someone you are attracted to. Your Hoover vacuum analogy made me laugh. The other thing about some guys is that they think they should go after your pussy like a puppy after his chow. Those who take the time to learn their partner are rare indeed, because I think each woman is unique.

The ones that make me laugh the most are the ones that claim to be able to do it all night. Really ?

"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety" Shakespeare


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
11/2/2018 12:44 pm

Some people are just natural born gives.

And how did the subject "arouse" anyway?

Blogging Legends and Myths
Happy Halloween, on HNW
Big Boobs Take to the Sky
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


MyBaffies 54M
4983 posts
11/2/2018 1:17 pm

Nope, there would definitely need to be some sort of physical attraction for me before any activity took place.

They describe some people as having "the perfect face for radio". Seemingly I have the perfect look for face-sitting.

Baffies

Link to my blog: MyBaffies


hardbuns55 58M
475 posts
11/2/2018 1:49 pm

Lala, there can still be pleasure without attraction, but its much better with attraction. Otherwise, its more like mutual masturbation.


benard69 66M/66F  

11/2/2018 1:55 pm

If you're not sexually attracted to him you might as well Face sit the washer on spin cycle...


VenusRedux2 49F
557 posts
11/2/2018 2:01 pm

RE: Facesitting

It's an awkward position that's hard on the knees. Especially for me as a big woman, there's just not enough thigh gap. So I gotta spread my legs even wider, straining the knees yet further. So instead of enjoying things, I'm thinking:

"Am I suffocating him? No? How about now? Now?"

"My knees hurt, how can I adjust myself so I don't snap his neck?"

"I'm losing my balance here, what can I hold onto to support myself?"

None of these are sexy thoughts that contribute to successful orgasms. As I get older, I realize I don't need any crazy stuff to enjoy sex. The basics do just fine, and the exotic stuff is rarely as good as hyped.

RE: The offer to 'Help Out'

Hard pass.

If I'm not into him, I won't be enjoying it regardless of his skills. I'll be counting the seconds until he leaves. And after he does, I'll be doing the long hot shower thing .... because I'm feeling skeevy and can't get his smell off of me fast enough (compare that to my husband, where the reaction is "we'll just let that scent linger for a bit so I can savor it").

And I simply don't believe anyone who claims it'll be a one time thing and everyone can go their separate ways amicably. He's gambling you'll love it and come back for more. He risks nothing, if he didn't make the offer, he's not getting sex anyway, so of course he makes the offer. This is not some magnanimous offer, even if he wants to believe it himself. You'll be getting the midnight "You up?" text for months afterwards. He may even be sincere about it now, but that's not a guarantee he won't change after he's been with you.

And from a safety standpoint, I would be leery. Sexual activity will be taking place, yet he won't be the one being serviced. In the end, he's going to be leaving frustrated. How is he going to handle that? Again, it is easy to accept that now, but is that going to change in the heat of the moment? It's lighting a fire and gambling that later you'll be able to douse it in time ... based on what? merely his assurance? Lot of good that will do if things start going sideways. Maybe you don't get victimized or anything that severe, but being called a "selfish cunt" still qualifies as an outcome to be avoided.

Remember you're not dealing with logic and reason, you're dealing with a biological imperative. So his assurances mean little to me.


yours_n_mine 66M  
131 posts
11/2/2018 2:30 pm

From my experience, I've been with those I've found attractive, and those not so much. I am here to say, that I've had some damn nice times with those that fall into the "not so much" category. Being attractive is definitely a positive. But, in my years of being in this lifestyle, often those you would not pay much attention to was some of the best sex I've ever had! And taking sex out of the equation , some had become very good, and trusted friends of mine.


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
11/2/2018 3:07 pm

My personal point of view, if I'm not attracted to someone, there won't be any sexual activity of any sort.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


johns_folly 64M

11/2/2018 4:26 pm

I'm one of those guys who likes to know a woman some before jumping into bed. I want to be attracted, know her personality and enjoy being with her. Then if we are attracted it's natural to move to the bedroom. But just to have sex because I'm horny and she has a hole, nah I'll pass. It's like that box of chocolates, I dont know what I'm going to get.


japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
11/2/2018 4:40 pm

[image]


i just got to say...got to have some sort of chemical going on between us...ya know what i mean??? i mean, i get it...it's just for blowjob...or gettin ma pussy eatin...but i wanna see his reaction...so his face is somehow important...and his technique is very important...other wise i am using hoover instead of him, ain't it...

and phuck ya. his face is important to me, if i got to lick his hole where he pees from...well, actually his dick is more important to me, if i don't like his dick...nope...no blow jobs for them...haha...


traveljunkie13 56F
11089 posts
11/2/2018 5:38 pm

Ok so I was gonna offer up an alternative view point but I'm thinking I'd be in the minority here so...

Aw fuck it! Here goes...

It depends. Look, some people are just wired to get pleasure from giving pleasure. I know it's weird but that's why dominatrixs (?) are in demand. Maybe pleasuring women is what gets this guy off. Or maybe it's a come on just to get you naked and in bed.

I guess, here's my question...how sexually frustrated are you? I've had sex with men I wasn't necessarily physically attracted to but I dug their personality or their brain or their charm. And in those instances, the sex was really just about the fun and the sexual release. Sex doesn't always have to be this big emotional commitment. Sometimes it's just nice to exchange some physical contact with another human.

All I'm saying is...don't necessarily rule it out. I met a really nice guy who was a lot of fun to hang with and have some fun with before meeting Boo. If I hadn't met Boo, I'd still be seeing him from time to time.

Now there's the issue of whether he's cool with just giving and not receiving. Most guys aren't. They say they are to get us naked and in bed and then start whining about getting their dicks sucked. Now I've walked out on a guy who pulled that shit on me. And yeah I walked out AFTER he'd made me cum several times with his tongue. But that's me and I don't have a problem with being a bitch like that

You'd need to really vet the guy and even then there's a chance he'll change his mind mid-way through. But in the future??? I'd say be open to the possibilities. That's actually how I met Boo Being open to the possibilities


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
11/2/2018 5:51 pm

No attraction, no naked anything. Just can’t happen. I have seen men post here about meeting a woman whom he was turned off by whatever, usually looks, but he banged her anyway. A once and done. I think that is so mean. Maybe men are different in that regard.


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
11/2/2018 5:53 pm

Am I closed-off/close minded for not accepting his offer? Fuck no. You don't wanna, you don't wanna. No explanations or defense needed.

Could this still be a pleasurable experience...in the name of real/fake scientific study? Doubtful. I mean really, first time oral with someone you're not attracted to and knows nothing about you?

Just go with it to receive physical stimulation, and possible pleasure? Why not save yourself the trouble and get a straddle mount for your magic wand?

God I feel like Heathen leaving comments like this!


LakeRidgeBBWSeek 63M
3847 posts
11/2/2018 10:14 pm

OKAY, am gonna admit something I havnt ever really said before, receiving oral, BJs at least, dont do very much for me at all. Watching others get them, yeah, that works for me , but maybe it is cuz I havnt found anyone truely skillful at it? OR, the fact that despite all my early fun times, yeah I started as a pre-teen, I didnt receive a BJ until I was age 18, and there were 10 gals before her that I had had funn with by then, including ME giving oral, which I was taught to do by the 1st gal I ever had real funn with, but SHE didnt give ma BJ, the subject never even was mentioned. And I know part of my issue is that ME cumming in a gals mouth seems somehow wrong!
But that said, I have received many unsolicited BJs since my 1st back when I was 18, and while I dont especially enjoy them, I also very rarely cum from one either, which seems to be a challenge to some women to just keep trying & trying & trying, and when they finally give up & climb on, they somehow think they have failed ! But I endure their efforts, because if they like doing that, who am I to hurt their feelings or deny THEM the pleasure?


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/3/2018 4:56 am

BiggLala replies on 11/2/2018 8:49 pm:
To be fair to this gentleman, he is not one of those 'suck/fuck anything' men. Really, I didn't want to make him seem that way, and I'm glad there haven't been disparaging comments so far. It's just that the discussion came up again, plus the perspective that women don't want men doing anything between their legs because HE would enjoy it made me write this. Ummm....yeah, no...if the ONLY reason is because HE will enjoy it and not me too...fuck that shit! I wanna enjoy too!
hashtagmetoo


Just for the record, I wasn't insinuating that the guy in question was one of those? Just a broad stroke brush to set the tone for me , not being one to participate , unless there was attraction.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
11/3/2018 8:50 am

There just has to be an attraction unless you're paying for it!


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
11/3/2018 10:25 am

BiggLala replies on 11/2/2018 9:11 pm:
Yes, some people are just magnanimous that way!

'Doh! You're either the only person to catch that (you know I had to go back and look), or the only one snarky enough to say anything. I'm surprised Red didn't even say anything. He's slipping.

************

Yeah, that's me being snarky for sure.

There IS a good way to shut me up however - sit on my face!

Blogging Legends and Myths
Happy Halloween, on HNW
Big Boobs Take to the Sky
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
11/3/2018 10:59 am

BiggLala replies on 11/3/2018 12:40 pm:
Actually, I'm blaming autocorrect on that one. Safari browsers suck at that!

Dude, I don't think me sitting on your face will work. I mean, unless you want me writing an In Memory of CF post the next day. Oh wait...that will shut you up then, huh?

*********

You'd like write some variation of an "In Memory of CF" post, but not because I died, but rather because you'd thought you'd died and gone to heaven.

COME ON - I HAD to say that, right?

Blogging Legends and Myths
Happy Halloween, on HNW
Big Boobs Take to the Sky
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
11/3/2018 11:45 am

If I know he is not attracted to me, no, I can’t go there. I get invites from those who have the X next to my body type. Instant no. When I mention it, I get some lame blanket statement, “oh no, I love all body types”. I can see through that.


redhotfun4you2 61F  
1596 posts
11/3/2018 5:02 pm

I am off the mindset that there has to be some form of attraction or chemistry for the sexual experience to be pleasurable. I have, on the odd occassion, met someone who I was not attracted to and with whom I did not especially enjoy the sexual experience. Then again that was many years ago and I was not as experienced in sexual pleasures as I am now. This is one reason why I don't do "hook-ups" or "one nighters". I take the time to get to know who I am meeting and who I am spending time with. Be it through conversations on the phone or in person, or even the occasional chat. I find that by getting to know the person I find the attraction which, in turn, increases the pleasure of the sexual experience, if it ever gets to that point.


FMAOPLS 70F
27112 posts
11/3/2018 6:27 pm

Why would oral sex be different than any other kind of sex?

As in, "He's not attractive, and I won't have regular sex with him, or kiss him, but he can go ahead and go downtown because then I won't have to look at his face"?

Am I really so different from other women that I wouldn't even consider having ANY kind of sex with someone I wasn't attracted to?

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


traveljunkie13 56F
11089 posts
11/4/2018 5:11 am

Ok so I'm gonna start this here and then take it on over to my blog to finish it up.

So here's my question...Do we all need to re-evaluate/expand our personal definitions of attractiveness to find some sexual fulfillment?

I've been wondering about this since I've started blogging about Boo. It hurt my heart that even one woman posted to my blog about never having experienced anything close to what I have with Boo or even some of my more casual hookups.


2trythis 60F
5109 posts
11/4/2018 5:24 am

Do you differentiate between physical attraction and emotional attraction? Have you been with a man who's body was so attractive that you just had to touch it? What if you find out that Mr. Gorgeous doesn't have the ability to carry on a conversation, do you keep having sex? Have you been with a man who's personality makes you want to get naked with him even though you would have passed him by based solely on appearances? Does he get more attractive to you as time passes and you share some pleasurable sexual experiences together?


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
11/4/2018 6:47 am

BiggLala replies on 11/4/2018 12:27 am:
Wouldn't that then be In Memory of When Lala Was Celibate?

*******

That too! Ohhh, knocking off two items at once - this just keep getting better and better!

A New Sleeping Option
Blogging Legends and Myths
Happy Halloween, on HNW
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


godogs91 56M
62 posts
11/4/2018 11:13 pm

There should be attraction in order for the sex...regardless of oral or otherwise...to be the best it can be.


dayzeeme 55F
7024 posts
11/6/2018 7:34 am

I am so not doing anything sexual with someone if I am not interested in them sexually. And the idea of face sitting appeals to me about as much as a needle in the eye .. hard pass. Love oral, but also rather be in a comfortable position on my back lol.


pussysmash6969 48M
17 posts
11/7/2018 7:19 pm

Very entertaining read.


lonlyforlove2 81M
32704 posts
11/8/2018 8:50 pm

Well, the ole man was late on this one, there is ohh, ohh pleasure when a mutual feeling and understanding is well established, some just don't like it, other do but it is a learned pleasure, no book, no porn film or magazine can inform you on how to give or receive , but once attraction is there, physical and mental, it can be the a feeling that can turn the world upside down and shake it, even at my age ,in last few years I have been taken to places that I had no idea even existed. believe me it is good to both, not just to one..

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


hottestbabe2011 34F
2 posts
11/11/2018 2:44 am

I think it's a personal thing. There are those who don't need to be attracted to another person to enjoy oral, or any sex


newname69and77 60M

11/11/2018 4:28 pm

I love giving oral eating pussy and ass is awesome


readyforgoodnite 57M/57F

11/19/2018 3:44 pm

Sexy is a package careful swimming in the shallow end bump your head


falkon2302 45M
154 posts
11/19/2018 7:06 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    My personal point of view, if I'm not attracted to someone, there won't be any sexual activity of any sort.
Really hot post though.. I am totally with you on this topic either. I never had a sex with person if me or partner has no any sort of chemistry. Otherwise it just don't work.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
11/20/2018 10:17 am

when a person asks for one thing, I cringe. it's so limiting and reeks, reeks of a place I am unwilling to stay, kinda like a bad motel.

right?

anyway - i did a whole page, now i quit, can't do the whole 20 today.

back later.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


CynicusMaximus 52M
1844 posts
11/20/2018 8:27 pm

You know.. i really wish you wouldn't share our conversations all of the time...

You know, i think he's just trying to be extra coy about getting you to do something that he wants. I think you're going to walk away from that like Mr. Hoover part 2.


SweetNHard84 40M

12/1/2018 8:01 pm

There has to be some attraction, because the ability to climax can be predicated upon “emotional” relaxation, which can occur with someone you’re emotionally/mentally attracted to. But said emotional relaxation can also occur during overwhelming physical pleasure, when all thought but the immediate pleasure is over-ridden.

I suppose it is the segway period where the transmission “engages” or “disengages”.

- could anyone make sexual verbology more boring than that? Lol


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