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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent  

sexyldy1000 68F  
10139 posts
7/13/2020 12:42 pm
No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent




These words are a remarkably insightful statement about self-esteem. When I saw them recently in a daily newsletter, I wanted 'to' understand their origin.

Eleanor Roosevelt uttered that phrase about an awkward event in 1935. The Secretary of Labor in the Roosevelt administration was invited 'to' give a speech at the University of California, Berkeley on the Charter Day of the school. The customary hostess of the event was unhappy because she felt that the chosen speaker should not have been a political figure. She refused 'to' serve as the host and several newspapers viewed her action as a rebuff and an insult.

When Mrs. Roosevelt was asked at a White House press conference whether the Secretary had been snubbed, her response was widely reported. “A snub” defined the first lady, “is the effort of a person who feels superior 'to' make someone else feel inferior. To do so, he has to find someone who can be made to feel inferior.”

Through the years, I have encountered people who tried to use this tactic. With maturity and life’s experience, I realized it has everything to do with them and nothing 'to' do with me. They often have insecurities and it helps them to feel better about themselves if others are unhappy. A happy person will not be motivated to make others feel miserable.

I am a strong, confident, resilient woman who has faced many challenges head-on. I do remind myself of this, counting each day as a blessing with the refusal 'to' be made ‘to’ feel inferior by someone else’s insecurities.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 12:47 pm

Have you encountered people like this? How did you handle them?


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
7/13/2020 1:01 pm

Yes you are a very confident lady as many of us here are. It's a real shame with those that feel less confident have to try to make us feel that way. This was a great read, as it was quite informative. Thanks for sharing this with us and I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


lonlyforlove2 81M
32704 posts
7/13/2020 1:21 pm

Bravo!!!, The world needs more of you.. I think I will go enter your points give away, I need some points… Have a good and be safe..

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


justaguyinalaska 57M
879 posts
7/13/2020 1:34 pm

Concur. It's challenging to not let toxic people get under your skin. However, this is a battle worth winning.

Although positivity feels like a scarce resource right now, it is in abundant supply, albeit a bit hard to find.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
7/13/2020 1:50 pm

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    Have you encountered people like this? How did you handle them?
It seems like people, especially here, often feel insulted by what a stranger says to them. Many have taken those alleged insults personally. What I usually wonder is; when the person is a total stranger and knows nothing about you why would you care about their uninformed/ignorant opinion?

I usually ignore that kind of crap.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
7/13/2020 2:48 pm

Go for it !!! Sounds like you have a handle on things.


mc_justmc 63M

7/13/2020 2:49 pm

A guy I work with is like that. I usually ask him to explain why he feels that way and his reasoning is so ridiculous, it's like debating with a 3rd grader.


Wok2016 42M  
599 posts
7/13/2020 2:56 pm

Yes many of them I'm afraid, and for the longest time I would want to do battle with each and every one of them. Those days have passed though, I just smile and keep moving now. I don't let their opinions make me feel anything, as those are personal to them! Chin up, and carry on!!


easy_going2014 57M
14366 posts
7/13/2020 3:48 pm

Hi sexyldy1000

thanks for sharing this PSA

I agree

Have you encountered people like this? Yes

How did you handle them? Ignore them, block them, walk away, ask them to please not talk to me

life is good

hmm

Pharrell Williams - "Happy"

It might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say
Sunshine she's here, you can take a break
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don't care baby by the way
Huh, because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


partygald 41F
1963 posts
7/13/2020 5:02 pm

How very true. Someone a very Long time ago told me something similar, that you’re treated badly only when you allow others to treat you badly. That’s not exactly the same but the context was, I had some work issues and that’s rather similar, context wise. I sometimes wish these people harm, but the best thing is just to leave them. They’re miserable enough as they are. Don’t let them drag you down. Or in other words, fuck em! Not literally...


MrRareity 64M  
4589 posts
7/13/2020 5:23 pm

What a great post I agree with everything you've said. I have never seen you belittle anyone maybe put someone in there place if they need it but that's different. I think you are one of the nicest people on the site, and think very highly of you because of it.

We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we have only one - Confucious


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:33 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    Yes you are a very confident lady as many of us here are. It's a real shame with those that feel less confident have to try to make us feel that way. This was a great read, as it was quite informative. Thanks for sharing this with us and I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening..
Yes there certainly are many strong women here and elsewhere. The quote is one we all should commit to memory. Hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your day


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:35 pm

    Quoting lonlyforlove2:
    Bravo!!!, The world needs more of you.. I think I will go enter your points give away, I need some points… Have a good and be safe..
Thank you for the lovely compliment. I am me and I do not try nor want to be anyone else! Your enthusiasm with the giveaway is impressive!


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:37 pm

    Quoting justaguyinalaska:
    Concur. It's challenging to not let toxic people get under your skin. However, this is a battle worth winning.

    Although positivity feels like a scarce resource right now, it is in abundant supply, albeit a bit hard to find.
When we are able to detach from our emotions, we can better analyze why something is happening and how to handle it. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your perspective.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:39 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    It seems like people, especially here, often feel insulted by what a stranger says to them. Many have taken those alleged insults personally. What I usually wonder is; when the person is a total stranger and knows nothing about you why would you care about their uninformed/ignorant opinion?

    I usually ignore that kind of crap.
Sounds like you have found the right balance for handling those kinds of situations. No doubt, others could learn from your perspective.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:40 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Go for it !!! Sounds like you have a handle on things.
It didn't happen overnight but the journey has been worth it


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:41 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    A guy I work with is like that. I usually ask him to explain why he feels that way and his reasoning is so ridiculous, it's like debating with a 3rd grader.
Yikes! Yes I read that is an effective technique....to put it back to the other person. Thanks for dropping by


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:48 pm

    Quoting mamacita38dd:
    In a world where everything is a competition now days, who did it better, who wore it better, who said it better... a world full of followers and few leaders is what it's becoming. I believe we see it everyday on here, you either confront it or run away from it, seems most just run away from it.
Awareness and knowledge are powerful tools. People have to find their own comfort in how to deal with things. Running away usually doesn't solve anything as silence is interpreted as consent.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:52 pm

    Quoting onelastchan00:
    What an excellent post my friend...
    In March when i decided to blog it was to defend myself to ones vicious treatment over the past 4 years... i used to sit back and take it
    But NO MORE.... even tho it is still carrying on i take a look at where its coming from...and laugh
    Thing is i dont need to meet anyone face to face to prove that they are toxic....it shows almost daily here in blogland....im good at reading between the lines
    Some people just choose to keep wearing Rose Colored Glasses...
    I have my own reasons for being here and FOR NOW ill STAY....I need NOT explain that to anyone...I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR BLOGS
    AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING UR POINTS AS WELL...YOU DO YOU HUN...😄😄
We all have to decide and understand why we are here. No One has the right to belittle or demean someone else just because their own lives are so miserable. Thank you for your support. I do work hard to post quality content. Doing the giveaway is something I have being considering for a long time so I decided to dip my toes in to see what would happen.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:54 pm

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi sexyldy1000

    thanks for sharing this PSA

    I agree

    Have you encountered people like this? Yes

    How did you handle them? Ignore them, block them, walk away, ask them to please not talk to me

    life is good

    hmm

    Pharrell Williams - "Happy"

    It might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say
    Sunshine she's here, you can take a break
    I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
    With the air, like I don't care baby by the way
    Huh, because I'm happy
    Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
    Because I'm happy
    Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
    Because I'm happy
    Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
    Because I'm happy
    Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do
Easy...thank you for stopping by and sharing your take on things. Can always count on you to pick the right song to suit the subject


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 7:58 pm

    Quoting partygald:
    How very true. Someone a very Long time ago told me something similar, that you’re treated badly only when you allow others to treat you badly. That’s not exactly the same but the context was, I had some work issues and that’s rather similar, context wise. I sometimes wish these people harm, but the best thing is just to leave them. They’re miserable enough as they are. Don’t let them drag you down. Or in other words, fuck em! Not literally...
Sometimes giving those type of people, attention, only feeds their venom. Walking away or not responding may not be easy but it is effective !
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your perspective.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/13/2020 8:01 pm

    Quoting MrRareity:
    What a great post I agree with everything you've said. I have never seen you belittle anyone maybe put someone in there place if they need it but that's different. I think you are one of the nicest people on the site, and think very highly of you because of it.
Thank you for the lovely compliment. As much as possible, I try to treat others the way that I expect to me treated. Silence can be mistaken for consent. I have seen too much of that happen.


easyrider4008 67M
2562 posts
7/14/2020 1:21 am

There are a lot of people that try to project their insecurities onto other people, I had a girl friend like that once, the experience put me in a very bad place for a while. It is unfortunate that there are a few on this site as well, I guess those in the know would term them sociopaths I call them nutters!


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/14/2020 4:21 am

    Quoting easyrider4008:
    There are a lot of people that try to project their insecurities onto other people, I had a girl friend like that once, the experience put me in a very bad place for a while. It is unfortunate that there are a few on this site as well, I guess those in the know would term them sociopaths I call them nutters!
It's unfortunate that they exist Everywhere .
To define them as sociopaths seems extreme, based on the Mayo Clinic's definition: “ a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference.". Your definition may be more accurate


Solfan55 69M
500 posts
7/14/2020 7:42 am

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    Have you encountered people like this? How did you handle them?
Like you, I recognize the fact that they own it, not me. Toxicity has the capacity to become a vortex that will consume you. Let it go and ignore them has become my M.O.

Great post BTW!


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/14/2020 7:56 am

    Quoting Solfan55:
    Like you, I recognize the fact that they own it, not me. Toxicity has the capacity to become a vortex that will consume you. Let it go and ignore them has become my M.O.

    Great post BTW!
Sometimes it’s hard but in the end it is the most effective way to handle. Always appreciate your support 😊.


trixietrixster 56F  
3125 posts
7/14/2020 4:59 pm

This is a most awesomeness post! I'm always good for the statement "one can only treat us as badly as we ALLOW them to". Couldn't agree more that the issue is theirs, not ours. It's definitely a challenge when interacting with someone like this, which, sadly, seems to be getting more common. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out ...

In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
7/15/2020 5:21 pm

    Quoting trixietrixster:
    This is a most awesomeness post! I'm always good for the statement "one can only treat us as badly as we ALLOW them to". Couldn't agree more that the issue is theirs, not ours. It's definitely a challenge when interacting with someone like this, which, sadly, seems to be getting more common. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out ...
I agree, people like that exist everywhere. Finding an effective way to deal with them is important. Thank you for your very kind compliment.


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